Spam SnarkGrabbing Spam and Taking Names Tuesday, April 01, 2003THE HOLY DOCUMENT OF RESIGNATIONR___, My apologies, it was not my intention to do this via e-mail. But my father's condition does not appear to be improving, and it is very important to me that I be by his side should he pass. O.K. Some background here. Up until the point that my boss, "R" received this note the Sneak, "A", had been out on personal days and vacation claiming that his father was sick and in the hospitol. Every 5th day or so he'd show his face at work and claim that his father had gotten a bit better but was still hospitolized. "R" had told me that his father was at a certain cleveland hospitol. Smelling a lie like a fart in a car, I called the hospitol and said that I wanted to send a get well basket of flowers and needed his room number. The nurse at the reception desk said that no paitent by that name was registered. I asked if she could tell me if he had been discharged and she then told me she had no record of such a person being in the hospitol for the last 2 weeks. The next time "A" was in I asked how his father was and what hospitol he was in. New Hospitol "they had to move him". Ok. Same situation panned out. No patient for the last two weeks. It is with bittersweet sentiment that I tender my resignation this morning. NO.. YOU ARE WRONG IT'S ALL SWEET! As I'm certain you are aware, I have been ramping up my freelance efforts in the last 6 months in an attempt to solidify them into a company offering. AH. Admission that no company work was getting done for the last 6 months. Guess he quit and STAYED! Under the auspices of partnerships forged with my sister, a former Key Bank CEO, and several affiliates, my efforts have materialized in the form of a startup software development and marketing firm. As of today, I will be serving as Chief Technology Officer and Senior Executive of C______ T___________, LLC. DAMN! From a "http://www.wowwebdesigns.com/power_guides/overused_techniques.php">3rd rate "Jr" web programmer to a CTO *** AND *** Senior Executive!!! Wow! And his sister was a CEO at Key bank! Holy smokes! Who would have know someone whos 24 could be a CEO! And I thought they had glass ceilings there! I had not planned to tender my resignation for another 2 months. ie:I planned on milking two more months worth of paychecks out of the company while I did PERSONAL work on the companies computers, phones and faxes. However, my father's recent illness, coupled with the increasing growth of the company, has forced me to move sooner than I had expected.Ah! We got a client! And things aren't going right, or so it sounds from all the phone calls I over heard. Yeah.. most of the time my head phones weren't playing music! I regret to inform you that due to my father's illness and the attention he now requires, I will be unable to offer two weeks advanced notice. In fact, I have no choice but to tender my resignation effective immediately. Fine, the sooner the better. Plus what should happen when all those people come to you asking you to do something before you leave! Argh! No you'd be put on the spot and would actually have to work! I will however work in conjunction with you to identify those essentials which my successor will require in order to provide the continued quality of service offered by the ____ Group. Essentials of sitting at a desk, answering phone calls from bill collectors and smoking doesn't require a degree from CWRU! I think we'll be able to handle any "TRAINING" on these "ESSENTIALS" that you did. Does Smoking & Dorito&tm; bindging count? Should you have a need for those services which I performed in my position with ____, and management rejects your request for a replacement, the services of my company, in a vendor capacity, are available to you. O.K. At first both me and my boss paniced! What are we going to do!?! Then after we stopped jumping for joy, we began to realize that "A" had been gone for 6 months. We wouldn't need anyone else. Actually I suggusted we seek legal action to get back 6 months worth of pay, but that was poo pooed! I am hopeful that my father's condition will stabilize enough by tomorrow or Wednesday that I can come in and identify how we will walk through the transition, remove my belongings, and finalize my resignation with HR. I will keep you updated on this as the situation progresses. Walk though the transition? Hell we've sprinted though this and both me and my boss haven't stopped smiling! It was a pleasure working with and for you, and I wish you, D___, L___, ____, and ______ _____, Inc. the very best. Humm.. Pleasure? Thats not what a note entitled DELETEME.TXT said that we found on your desktop, but thats another blog for another time. I have attached a formal copy of my resignation for your records. This is the same copy I will provide HR. I will be in touch today or tomorrow with further information on when I can finalize this with you in person. In the meantime, if you need to contact me you can use any of the following information: Home Office: 440.XXX.XXXX Company Cell: 216.XXX.XXXX Company Email: [DELETED] Personal Email: [DELETED] Best Regards, A_____________ Chief Technology Officer C______ T___________, LLC .: posted by Scales and Pom 8:23 PMYes... it's been one official week since the sneak quit. Found lots of semi interesting documents on his computer. One that even says the HR manager said that my boss was going to fire the sneak! Oh sure. The HR manager said this? Great. Lets bring this up to the HR manager.
.: posted by Scales and Pom 7:42 PM |
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